Not very animated at all

*Update* Holy hell!  This blog is over 1 year old!  I didn't notice until now! I will have a special 1 year anniversary post next week to celebrate!  Until then, thank you all so very much for reading my blog for so long.  I love writing it and it's great to know that people enjoy it!  It has genuinely helped me through good times and bad!  Thank you!  

For the past several months, I have been living with an incomplete set of crockery.  I know, I’m an animal right?  Well now, as of this weekend, I have finally completed my crockery set!  Woohoo I’m a grown up now!  Anyhow, it’s been a fairly unexciting week with the exception of this Sunday.  

You see, I managed to get some good exercise and some sightseeing at the same time.  Instead of my usual Taekwondo lesson, Ashock and myself set out on his bike through the dust and traffic before arriving at the…airport?  I have to admit, I was slightly taken aback by this until I noticed a nice shaded and level walkway which was perfect for jogging.  So, we started off down the track before eventually making it to Pashupatinath Temple: a temple where the dead are cremated.  Jogging past the funeral pyres was a fairly harrowing experience but soon we passed by them and started jogging up some steps…oh so many steps.  Breathless by the time I arrived, I was taken aback by the shaded calm of the area: as the ground leveled, you find yourself surrounded by trees and old temples and monuments.  It was such a nice backdrop to some quick exercises and a little bit of wandering around…especially when we noticed there monkeys clambering around.  A nice morning well spent…though I did find out afterwards there are supposed to be a large number of snakes there…

So, whilst that was certainly an interesting and enjoyable experience, I can’t really right an entire blog on it…as it would turn out like this:

‘Step

Step Step

Pant Pant Pant

Look Look

Collapse’

albeit with a few more words, if not much more style.  It doesn’t help that I didn’t take pictures so I can’t not-so subtly fill out my post with them.  Gah, a rookie mistake!  So, this week’s blog topic is a ‘tongue in cheek’ guide:

5 things you need to make a successful anime (or a JRPG)

Now then, I admitted a while ago (and more recently as well) that I am writing (slowly - Ed) my own anime.  Because of this, I thought I would share my experiences in writing my anime as well as my countless hours of ‘research’ into the genre.  So, here is my expert (HA! - Ed) advice to writing an anime.

1.       Over-sized Weapons:

This is the most important thing to have and the bigger the better.  Hell, I’ve seen galaxies being thrown at opponents before (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann) so you know it has to be big.  Think of a normal weapon e.g. a sword or gun then increase its size until you can just about hold it.  Now keep increasing its size by about threefold.  Now you’re talking!  A weapon is completely useless unless you can barely use it.  Don’t forget to hold it over your shoulder for extra coolness – vital for JRPG characters.
Bonus points: add a random attachment to the weapon

A classic example (Soul Eater)

2.       Skimpy Clothing:

If you’re not going to have skimpy outfits, then you’re in the wrong career.  THIS IS A MUST.  It is a well-known and proven fact that skin is much more effective against blades and bullets than clothes or armour.  If you are wearing armour, you will get hurt. *Batman Spoiler* Batman wore armour and got stabbed!  What more proof do you need?  This applies to both male and female characters.  Also, make sure to add entangling capes, jackets, chains and ponytails for added defence and fighting ability.
Bonus points: it must tear during battles 

A classic example of a skimpy male costume (Bleach)

3.       Sullen and overly cheerful Characters:

You can’t have one without the other.  Fact.  The universe will just implode if you try so don’t even think about it.  For your sullen character, don’t forget to make them sigh and grimace everytime anything ever happens.  Oh, and yell a lot.  Shouting is key to this characters strength.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH is an acceptable shout.  For the cheerful character, they must annoy the sullen character (who is, of course, protective over them) and make the V sign with their hands and tilt their head to a 30 degree angle.  It has to be exact or they will die regardless of how skimpy their clothes are!

Bonus points: If the incredibly cheerful and female-looking character is actually male   

Light Yagami - Sullen (Deathnote)

4.       Hugely powerful ultimate mega-awesome ,final, last-chance, all-out attacks:

Your ultimate attack has to be powerful or it has to be fast and your character must have at least one…even if they are a butler (Hayate no Gotoku).  If your attack can’t level a mountain or destroy a town, then you had better hope that you can appear next to the enemy in the blink of an eye or dodge bullets.  If your character can’t, they won’t get screen time and will become jokes.  YOU DON’T WANT THAT, DO YOU???  Shouting during the attack can also help, as it will startle your enemy into standing still and waiting for you attack.
Bonus Points: Either your ultimate attack drains all your powers or you can snap the enemy’s weapon with a couple of fingers (Bleach)

One attack from person (Naruto)

5.       Filler episodes

Your life will not be worth living if you miss out or skimp on any of these bad boys.  Fans love these breaks in the main storyline.  Nothing quite like a tense cliff hanger episode where the main character is about to be killed or has been killed and then in the next episode…a trip to a beach or spa!  Really adds to the tension.  Alternatively, on the edge of a huge battle, you can dedicate a series to the history of some characters that’ve just appeared…it really makes you appreciate the finale of the battle!
Bonus points: Make the fillers last three series or more (Naruto)

So there we have it!  If you follow my advice, you will have a hit anime on your hands!  To any anime fans whom I may have offended: this was all in jest and, if you’re a regular reader, you will know I am a massive anime fan.  If we can’t poke fun at the things we love, the internet would be a boring place.  Also, don’t be so uptight.  If this offends you, then the internet is really not for you.

Pick of the week

Hayate no Gotoku – Ok, I couldn’t write this post and not include Hayate no Gotoku (or Hayate the Combat Butler) as this pokes fun at various animes throughout the series.  Introduced to me by Derek (i.e. the person who introduces most of the anime you watch - Ed), this show is a great laugh to watch.  It combines amusing and fairly odd characters with well-written humour that pokes fun at the Otaku culture, creating a fun and cohesive story that doesn’t take itself too seriously.  The only problem is sometimes it gets a little too weird (a giant cockroach, eh?) but overall, it is worth a watch…though new anime fans may not get all the references.

Music of the week

Just one song this week but it is pretty awesome and has been listened to many a time!  Let me introduce you to: Serj Tankian - Ching Chime!

Well now!  That is it for another week!  As usual, tell your friends and don't forget...there is a fairly useless facebook page, so please like it!