Wednesday 10 October 2012

5 more reasons why people probably shouldn't read my blog



First of all, before I get into the usual tone of my blog, I would like to say that I was horrified to have witnessed a dog being run over by a taxi on my way to work this morning.  Sadly, it was too far away for me to do anything about and the driver got out to look after it but even so, I can’t get it off my mind…I keep hearing the bang of the car.  What makes it even worse is that driver was driving on the wrong side of the road, making this potentially avoidable had he been following the law.  I’m not sure why I’m writing about it but I think I need a faucet to get it out.  Rest in peace little nameless dog, this was an unfortunate event that you were included in but you won’t be forgotten.

So another week goes by and we are one week closer to my parents arriving and one step closer to Japan.  Have to admit, I’m really looking forward to getting out of dusty Kathmandu and having a beer down by the lakeside with my parents.  Not only this but I’m thinking of being launched at high speeds, similar to that which the supersonic freefall gentleman Felix Baumgartner will face, out of my comfort zone by booking myself a sports massage.  Yes, I admit it:

“I, Robert Basford, am terrified by the thought of a massage”

It’s not anything weird but I just do not like the idea of a stranger running their hands over me nor the idea of getting semi-naked in front of a stranger.  I need to have known you for at least a couple of hours before I do that.  However, I am thinking of doing this for two reasons.  First of all, I seem to have a muscle that has been sore when stretched a certain way for a few months and I have been told that a massage can help.  No idea if this is true but it is worth a shot!  Secondly, the company I am thinking of using trains those who are blind or partially blind and gives them a trained profession which I think is a really good cause.  So, there may be a future blog entry about this assumingly awkward experience!

Moving to the main topic this week, I would like introduce:

*Ok, I am having the feeling of Déjà vu…I apologise if I have done something like this before but I never promised quality blogging, did I?  Plus, we have entire channels dedicated to repeats!*


5 Reasons why having real-life superheroes might not be that bad and could be kind of fun

Ok, so I have been in a superhero mood recently, which has flared up again as I will soon be reading the ‘Darkest Night’ story arc from DC.  Add in the new Arrow series; all the films that I can now get on DVD; and the new films that will be coming out, I am pretty stoked!  So, taking this into account, I thought I would explore a few reasons why this would rock.

1.       Spice up your lovelife with a costume
Ok, so dirty minded thoughts aside, imagine how much your life could be improved by dating a superperson (How PC – PC Ed).  You need to go to the shops for some milk?  The Flash will have it done before the last drop falls or Jean Grey can mind-control someone into delivering it.  If you’re living with Thor, say goodbye to electricity bills and hello to harnessing lightning!  Start dating Oracle and she will ensure you never need to bother with tech support again!  This isn’t even mentioning the bat gadgets!  I mean, yes, there may be the slight risk of being kidnapped by a costumed nemesis or your loved one vanishing as they travel to another dimension but these are negligible at the thought of all the fringe benefits!   

2.       Someone needs to take the blame
Every time that something happens, it is the terrorists, the immigrants or the banks that have done it.  Superheroes will give the newspapers and politicians a little bit of variation to their publications and arguments.  I can just see it now:  ‘Climate change: The Damnable Human Torch is raising the heat’ or ‘Storm causes mass flooding…we say x-pel her’.  Even politicians would be able to jump on the bandwagon (and hopefully stop picking on popular children TV shows): pro-hero vs anti-hero debates; how to utilize our heroes…the possibilities are endless! 

3.       Brighten up that morning commute
We’ve all been there: that grey sky, bleary eyed, early morning commute where you sit staring out the window for 30 minutes wishing it was still Sunday.  Who wouldn’t want some superhero action to brighten up their morning!  I mean, I got excited for about a week when I saw an elephant outside of my office window.  Just imagine how exciting it would be so see wolverine uppercutting a flaming sentinel on the train to work; or the Batmobile speeding past your local school; or having magneto thrown through your local supermarket wall by an angry hulk whilst you shop.  HULK SMASH…ES THE COMPETITOR PRICES.  Sure, there may be some collateral damage but that neatly leads to the next point…

4.          Tax cuts?  Pfft, all we need is loner billionaires
If you have seen the cost of being Batman or Ironman, you will know it takes billions.  This could give a huge lift to the economy, injecting money and creating jobs.  I mean, these crime-fighters have to order everything from somewhere, right?  Add to this all the extra work that construction companies would get, which would then be spent in local shops and suddenly, we are all out of debt!  Woohoo!

Now, you’re probably thinking…what about the damage caused to the buildings and the cost of repairs?  Well, they would, of course, be covered by superhero insurance!  Not only this, but imagine the viral marketing your company would get when Wonderwoman throws your product at a gaggle of greasy gangsters!  BAM!  POW!  PROFIT!  Finally, tailors and clothes shop profits would hit the roof…I know that Spiderman seems to go through an outfit per issue and that’s on a good day!  They would make a fortune with the Primark Hero Line (Hey, not all superheroes can afford ‘Next’ or Marks and Spencers’ – Budget ed).   

Hell, I’m thinking of donning a mask and cape solely so I can do my part in reducing the global deficit.  Capitalism Man is coming 2013, you heard it here first.  Because you CAN put a price on crime!   

5.       Fiery Zombies on a meteorite
Ok, let’s be honest.  How prepared are we for a huge apocalyptic scenario, really?  We’ve all sat down and discussed what we would do during a zombie outbreak but chances are, we would lie down and cry then get eaten.  Not if superheroes were around: they would at least fight before being eaten!  What about if a giant meteorite was hurtling towards us or a giant, planet eating cosmic entity?  Perhaps it’s an ancient Norse enemy, back from the books of history!  We don’t have a chance against this kind of thing, no matter what we tell ourselves!  Plus, would you want to fistfight an overgrown T-rex (Ok, that was a bad example for fistfighting)?  Of course not, especially when superheroes exist and can do it for you!  Armchair heroes for the win!


Pick of the week

Seeing Hands Nepal – As mentioned at the start of this blog, I may submitting myself for a massage with this company but this is not why I am highlighting them.  Nope, the reason is because of the good they do within the community.  What they do is provide training and employment blind or partially blind people so that they gain a profession and an income.  Part of the massage goes to this training as well, so not only do you get a highly rate and professional massage but you get to give something back to Nepal.

Music of the week

Hmm, this is another week where I don't really have a stand out track to highlight which isn't very good.  However, I will pull one of my more listened to songs out of my music bag known as itunes: this is perhaps the busiest person alive today, Alec Empire - Addicted to You.


So, that is it from me for another week...I'm currently sitting waiting on my my Taekwondo Instructor so will be stretching very soon!  Seeing as I didn't finish this before I left, I thought I would inform everyone that, to my surprise, I can do the full lotus position without any pain for a prolonged period...well I thought it was cool.  Pffft

Thursday 4 October 2012

Better late than never...



By Zeus’s beard!  It’s been over a year already?  AND I MISSED IT?  I kind of messed up there, didn’t I (Yes, you’re a tool - Ed)?  However, the title says it all really!  Pretty sure that means I’ve lasted longer than myspace and bebo (You wish - Ed)!  So, before I get into any recounting and nostalgic rubbish, I would like to sincerely thank everyone who has ever read my blog, commented, spoke to me about it and encouraged me.  I probably would never have stuck with it if nobody had been reading with it or if it wasn’t for a hard-ass editor (D’aaawww shucks – Ed).  It is one of the nicest feelings in the world when somebody says they enjoyed a post or they are wondering when my next post will be (cough JK cough).  I did have a couple of plans for the post but these fell through sadly, so I’m going with the nostalgic review of the year post!  

Swiftly moving on, as promised in my preview on facebook, I had a dream which involves Mila Kunis…but that isn’t very exciting (sadly - Ed).  Besides, you don’t really care about that, do you?  You want to know about why I threw myself into the wall, don’t you?  You see, it happened when I was sleeping…or at least it started when I was sleeping.  I may have dreamt there was a spider crawling over me in my bed which, in turn, woke me up.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t suffer from arachnophobia; I’m not exactly keen on them but I’m not really afraid of them…them crawling on me as I sleep is an exception.  So, I dreamt one was crawling on me (perhaps it really was - Ed), then, in my sleep-addled state, got up onto my feet (still on the bed)…

And dove!  I launched myself through the air like a majestic swan taking flight…before crashing into a crumpled heap against the wall, then sliding down violently to earth with a bang.  This was not my finest moment.  Not even close.  Not since I sleep-rolled off the top bunk (over a safety rail) and missed the corner of a cabinet by an inch (I wasn’t allowed to sleep on the top for years afterwards) have I displayed such reckless sleep habits.    

Please see below for a detailed photographic account…and sorry for the tweenage, myspace style taking pictures of myself…it was only me doing it.


Here I sleep, unaware of my fate

That is not a good picture...I am awoken by some unknown force

 It attacks!

 And so, I leap


You can see the result



Ignoring my attempt to be funny (I hope somebody laughed...this hurt), let’s have a quick look over my year shall we?  First of all, since I started writing, I have lived in two continents: having moved to Nepal in pursuit of work.  And it has certainly had its share of ups and downs…beautiful temples and countryside mixed with damnable cockroaches from hell in my kitchen.  Amazingly friendly and kind people mixed with heavy pollution.  Delicious food along with food poisoning (and weightloss).  As I said, ups and downs.  However, I have had a great time here and I have some amazing memories that will outweigh the bad. 

Of course, I’ve started my new job and have experienced all the highs and lows that have been included in this.  Since starting, there has been a huge amount of overtime (and mines isn’t even the largest amount) and working weekends, but I’ve met some amazing colleagues/friends and learned a huge amount about online marketing and the admissions process (from the other side, at least).  One amazing addition is that I’ve been flown to different parts of Nepal for work, and so, I’ve actually been able to see the country whilst doing my job. 

I’ve also flown more than I have in my life.  Since starting, I have landed in eight different airports, flown in 12 different planes and spent time in four different countries: not to mention visiting different places in Nepal via plane.  Overall, this amounts to over 70 hours of travel and transit.  This will then increase significantly over the next couple of months as I’ve booked a dream holiday to Japan, will be travelling home for Christmas and I will be visiting my sister in Italy as well.  

I’ve, of course, explored some of Nepal as well: from the bustling city of Kathmandu and its associated temples to the serene national parks of Chitwan to the relaxing tourist lake of Pokhara: each with their individual charms.  



I’ve drank beer next to a river as the sun set; I’ve ate lychee straight off the tree; I’ve had amazing steak with my closest friends; and I’ve had a shot of spirit with coffee at 9am because of my lack of Italian.  One of my favourite memories though was my new year: despite being ill and in bed by 11pm, I was able to spend the evening with my dad on a mountainside, overlooking Kathmandu Valley whilst next to a roaring fire.


That’s not to say it’s not all been fun and games though.  Living so far away from home is often an incredibly taxing and lonely existence and I’m not ashamed to say that despite all the amazing experiences I’ve had, it has been a difficult year.  I’ve been insanely homesick and missed my friends and family.  I’ve lain there miserable when I’ve been incredibly sick with no-one able to check up on me.  I’ve been woken up by and had to evacuate for (minor) earthquakes.  I’ve seen more bandhs/strikes than I could have imagined.  I’ve lost a very important family member whom I miss greatly.

So, before I sum up, let’s have some more stats then.  Everybody loves a bit of stats, right (now we can start to see why you’re still single - Ed)? 

·         60 posts
·         3274 views
·         54.56666667 views per post
·         Readers in 10 countries and 3 continents
·         Most Popular Post: Ten Items or Less – The First Level

Not too shabby for somebody who only links the page on his facebook page, eh?

I’m not really good at the whole summing up thing…especially when it is semi-emotional.  Whilst perhaps not my usual type of post and although it only shows a fleeting glance over my year, it certainly highlights that I have had a pretty eventful year and I am truly grateful for it and have thoroughly enjoyed it.  I’ve also genuinely enjoyed writing about it: even more than I anticipated.  

It is not often I spend a year doing anything, and I’ve started many diaries for them to only end up aging in a cupboard somewhere.  So, I am quite surprised that I have managed to keep this up.  Like I said at the beginning, I probably would not have gone so far if I didn’t think people read this so thank you very much for reading all this time!

And this is only the beginning!  I still have my interviews (I haven’t forgot) and I plan to expand into a new website when I have time to make it…along with some new features!  Until then, I hope I’ve entertained you a little and time for the picks of weeks! 


Picks of the Week

Wigs and Glitters and Lies – Ok, as this is a blog post about my blog, I thought I would blog about someone else’s blog.  And no, I am not including this just because they reminded me that Miss Hannah Minx.  This is a funny blog written by my friend Karina and her friend (whom I’ve never met) Sarah as they examine their own celebrity crushes, conversations and there goal to reach ‘middle class Utopia’.  This is a fairly new blog but it is well written with some interesting artwork and will manage to put a smile on your face!  Now then, back to learning about push-ups with miss Minx.

Music of the Week

Ok, so I need to start with some legal issues first.  As per the owners demand, here is a picture of Nightwing eating pizza drawn from sharpies.  Also, I am awarding it 500 cool points.  That's right, 500.  Not only do you have less cool points, you just lost the game.


 Today, I am first of all showcasing a song from MikeStalfos aka Michael (as mentioned hundreds of times on this blog.  Go back and read up people!).  One of the many things he does very well is mix and compose and this is his track: Omeg Alpha.  Check him out here: http://soundcloud.com/mikestalfos 

 

So that's it from me.  Over a year and still going strong.  Tell your friends and let's make it an even better second year!  Next milestone, 100 posts! 

Honarary Mentions over the year

  • Bus surfing goats
  • Hundreds of Deathnote Tshirts
  • Beer and videogame sessions
  • Multiple goodbye dinners with the same people
  • Being nursed back to health after being hung-over at one of those dinners
  • A 12 hour trip to Glasgow with beer, tea and steak
  • Ollie remembering me
  • Not (deliberately) flashing people at Michael and Cara's wedding.  Not this year but I deserve a medal for that