First of all, before I get into the usual
tone of my blog, I would like to say that I was horrified to have witnessed a
dog being run over by a taxi on my way to work this morning. Sadly, it was too far away for me to do
anything about and the driver got out to look after it but even so, I can’t get
it off my mind…I keep hearing the bang of the car. What makes it even worse is that driver was
driving on the wrong side of the road, making this potentially avoidable had he
been following the law. I’m not sure why
I’m writing about it but I think I need a faucet to get it out. Rest in peace little nameless dog, this was
an unfortunate event that you were included in but you won’t be forgotten.
So another week goes by and we are one week
closer to my parents arriving and one step closer to Japan. Have to admit, I’m really looking forward to
getting out of dusty Kathmandu and having a beer down by the lakeside with my
parents. Not only this but I’m thinking
of being launched at high speeds, similar to that which the supersonic freefall
gentleman Felix Baumgartner will face, out of my comfort zone by booking myself
a sports massage. Yes, I admit it:
“I, Robert Basford, am terrified by the thought of a
massage”
It’s not anything weird but I just do not
like the idea of a stranger running their hands over me nor the idea of getting
semi-naked in front of a stranger. I
need to have known you for at least a couple of hours before I do that. However, I am thinking of doing this for two
reasons. First of all, I seem to have a
muscle that has been sore when stretched a certain way for a few months and I
have been told that a massage can help.
No idea if this is true but it is worth a shot! Secondly, the company I am thinking of using
trains those who are blind or partially blind and gives them a trained
profession which I think is a really good cause. So, there may be a future blog entry about
this assumingly awkward experience!
Moving to the main topic this week, I would
like introduce:
*Ok,
I am having the feeling of Déjà vu…I apologise if I have done something like
this before but I never promised quality blogging, did I? Plus, we have entire channels dedicated to
repeats!*
5 Reasons why having real-life superheroes might
not be that bad and could be kind of fun
Ok, so I have been in a superhero mood
recently, which has flared up again as I will soon be reading the ‘Darkest
Night’ story arc from DC. Add in the new
Arrow series; all the films that I can now get on DVD; and the new films that
will be coming out, I am pretty stoked!
So, taking this into account, I thought I would explore a few reasons
why this would rock.
1.
Spice up your lovelife with
a costume
Ok, so dirty minded thoughts aside, imagine
how much your life could be improved by dating a superperson (How PC – PC Ed). You need to go to the shops for some
milk? The Flash will have it done before
the last drop falls or Jean Grey can mind-control someone into delivering it. If you’re living with Thor, say goodbye to
electricity bills and hello to harnessing lightning! Start dating Oracle and she will ensure you
never need to bother with tech support again!
This isn’t even mentioning the bat gadgets! I mean, yes, there may be the slight risk of
being kidnapped by a costumed nemesis or your loved one vanishing as they
travel to another dimension but these are negligible at the thought of all the
fringe benefits!
2.
Someone needs to take the
blame
Every time that something happens, it is
the terrorists, the immigrants or the banks that have done it. Superheroes will give the newspapers and
politicians a little bit of variation to their publications and arguments. I can just see it now: ‘Climate change: The Damnable Human Torch is
raising the heat’ or ‘Storm causes mass flooding…we say x-pel her’. Even politicians would be able to jump on the
bandwagon (and hopefully stop picking on popular children TV shows): pro-hero
vs anti-hero debates; how to utilize our heroes…the possibilities are
endless!
3.
Brighten up that morning
commute
We’ve all been there: that grey sky, bleary
eyed, early morning commute where you sit staring out the window for 30 minutes
wishing it was still Sunday. Who
wouldn’t want some superhero action to brighten up their morning! I mean, I got excited for about a week when I
saw an elephant outside of my office window.
Just imagine how exciting it would be so see wolverine uppercutting a flaming
sentinel on the train to work; or the Batmobile speeding past your local
school; or having magneto thrown through your local supermarket wall by an
angry hulk whilst you shop. HULK
SMASH…ES THE COMPETITOR PRICES. Sure,
there may be some collateral damage but that neatly leads to the next point…
4.
Tax
cuts? Pfft, all we need is loner
billionaires
If you have seen the cost of being Batman
or Ironman, you will know it takes billions.
This could give a huge lift to the economy, injecting money and creating
jobs. I mean, these crime-fighters have
to order everything from somewhere, right?
Add to this all the extra work that construction companies would get,
which would then be spent in local shops and suddenly, we are all out of
debt! Woohoo!
Now, you’re probably thinking…what about
the damage caused to the buildings and the cost of repairs? Well, they would, of course, be covered by
superhero insurance! Not only this, but
imagine the viral marketing your company would get when Wonderwoman throws your
product at a gaggle of greasy gangsters!
BAM! POW! PROFIT!
Finally, tailors and clothes shop profits would hit the roof…I know that
Spiderman seems to go through an outfit per issue and that’s on a good
day! They would make a fortune with the
Primark Hero Line (Hey, not all superheroes can afford ‘Next’ or Marks and
Spencers’ – Budget ed).
Hell, I’m thinking of donning a mask and
cape solely so I can do my part in reducing the global deficit. Capitalism Man is coming 2013, you heard it
here first. Because you CAN put a price
on crime!
5.
Fiery Zombies on a meteorite
Ok, let’s be honest. How prepared are we for a huge apocalyptic
scenario, really? We’ve all sat down and
discussed what we would do during a zombie outbreak but chances are, we would
lie down and cry then get eaten. Not if
superheroes were around: they would at least fight before being eaten! What about if a giant meteorite was hurtling
towards us or a giant, planet eating cosmic entity? Perhaps it’s an ancient Norse enemy, back
from the books of history! We don’t have
a chance against this kind of thing, no matter what we tell ourselves! Plus, would you want to fistfight an
overgrown T-rex (Ok, that was a bad example for fistfighting)? Of course not, especially when superheroes
exist and can do it for you! Armchair
heroes for the win!
Pick
of the week
Seeing Hands Nepal – As mentioned at the start of this blog, I may submitting myself
for a massage with this company but this is not why I am highlighting
them. Nope, the reason is because of the
good they do within the community. What
they do is provide training and employment blind or partially blind people so
that they gain a profession and an income.
Part of the massage goes to this training as well, so not only do you
get a highly rate and professional massage but you get to give something back
to Nepal.
Music of the week
Hmm, this is another week where I don't really have a stand out track to highlight which isn't very good. However, I will pull one of my more listened to songs out of my music bag known as itunes: this is perhaps the busiest person alive today, Alec Empire - Addicted to You.
So, that is it from me for another week...I'm currently sitting waiting on my my Taekwondo Instructor so will be stretching very soon! Seeing as I didn't finish this before I left, I thought I would inform everyone that, to my surprise, I can do the full lotus position without any pain for a prolonged period...well I thought it was cool. Pffft
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