So, it’s time for the final part of Travelling Alone and for the
finale, we are going to be looking at the actual ‘being alone’
part. Whilst loneliness is a factor (discussed shortly), it is
certainly more complicated than this. I mean, we’ve all been alone
at some point and you certainly don’t shrivel up into a miserable
ball of loneliness right away, do you?
Of course, that is simplifying it a little, as more often than not, you will feel lonely if you don’t have regular human interaction and this can become a major issue when on holiday. It can begin to affect your mental state which in turn can affect your enjoyment of the trip. I mean, think about it: it’s easy to go for days without talking to someone when you're travelling, other than to order a meal or to purchase entry and this, especially for the more sociable amongst you, can be a problem. For me, due to a variety of reasons, I spend a lot of my time on my own with limited social interaction and this has helped with travelling on my own (and it’s probably as tragic as it sounds - Ed) but it can still rear its ugly head.
In particular, I've found that night time is the worst time for loneliness as, more often than not, this is when you’d sit down and have dinner with your family/friends and socialise after university, school or work. When you’re travelling alone, you can’t do this as easily plus there isn't always as much to do in the evenings on your own. Of course, for the more sociable amongst you, this may never become a problem but for people like me, who are terrible at going and talking to strangers, this can become difficult. This is where the loneliness can sneak up on you: you're sitting at a restaurant or bar table and wham! You're suddenly longing for someone to argue with over the TV remote or are wanting to discuss how good your meal or beer is. Now, you may be wondering why I'm targeting the evening and night but from my experience, you're usually too busy during the day to worry about being on your own as you're away sightseeing and are busy dashing from one place to the next (if you're like me, that is).
However, this returns us back to the evening. Sitting at a restaurant and eating on your own is fine and should't be viewed with the social stigma that it has but, when you do it several times in a row, it can be a little draining, especially when you're in a slightly more upmarket restaurant where you can't bring out a book to read whilst you eat. This then results in you sitting and staring around the restaurant whilst waiting for your meal to come: awkwardness at its best. Then, when you finish your meal and pay up, what do you do? You still have a few hours until you need to sleep. How do you fill it? Unless you have an evening tour planned, then you're potentially doomed to repeat this: do you go to a club and potentially stand around like a statue in the hope that you get involved in the dancing or in a group; do you go to a bar and hope you get swallowed up by the crowd? You might think I'm painting a very bleak picture or you might think that I'm just being awkward in not socialising but for me, this is an issue. I find it difficult to just go and speak to someone new, unless I'm forced to and that is not going to change quickly so it can causes issues for myself and people in a similar issues.
Worry not though, my dear reader! There is a solution at hand and that is, the dreaded 'p' word: planning! Oho yes, it is back and with a vengeance! Let me elaborate before you come running at me with pitchforks and flaming torches as I'm a militant monsters when it comes planning. I am not suggesting you plan every hour of every evening. Hell, I'm not even suggesting you plan one evening, if you don't want to. What I'm suggesting is just planning for the fact you will be on your own and make a few preparations for it. Bring an extra book with you (or if you have a kindle, bring an extra 10,000 books with you). Check out possible night attractions so that you don't need to sit and spend your time on your own in the restaurant. If you write a blog, you can spend your time doing that over a beer. As an example, let's compare two different trips shall we, to see how this works.
Travelling back to my Tanzania trip, as mentioned earlier in the blog, I was on my own for around 10 days but I hadn't planned for being on my own. By the time the sightseeing part of the trip had started, I had read all my books and had no-one to talk to. For 10 or so evenings, I was lonely and fairly depressed. I had never experienced this as I didn't have much to do other than sit on my own somewhere and perhaps plan my next day. During the day, I was fine but as night fell, I became a mess as I was completely alone and bored. I eventually ran into a couple of people I knew for a night which was great but then when they left, it was back to solitary confinement for me. I ended up scouring Zanzibar island for English books, to allow me something new to read. It was horrible. Fast forwarding to Hong Kong (just call me the Doctor), I had planned for this. I knew I was going to be on my own and made sure that I had an extra book and that I knew of a few night activities that I could participate in. I also spent that time with a beer and writing my blog entries about Hong Kong. This significantly improved my evenings and stopped me from feeling lonely as I kept myself busy.
Obviously, this is just one example from my experiences but it shows that loneliness can occur on holiday and that it can be solved as well. However, should you find yourself lonely on holiday and can't find a way to shake it, just remember two things:
Pick of the Week
Tomb Raider – Recently, I completed the latest installment to the Tomb Raider franchise and I have to admit that it was a fun game and an interesting introduction to Lara's beginning. The combat is pretty solid (I do love me a bow and arrow), the climbing and adventuring feels like old school Tomb Raider with a modern overhaul (i.e. with a set pieces etc but this isn't always bad) and the drama of the story certainly keeps you on edge. My only real complaint about the game is the injuries that are forced upon Lara. They make a big deal about her being injured via a cut scene but then, more often than not, completely ignore it in the game with her running and jumping like an Olympian. There is one exception where she can't climb but that lasts only until she finds some painkillers. Despite that, it's a great game and well worth playing if you're a fan of Lara.
Music of the Week
This week it's the turn of Otep – Ghostflowers. Now then, Otep is an angry young lady and rightfully so but it's a great song and she is one of my favourite female vocalists. Enjoy!
Well that's it from me and from my Travelling Alone series. Hopefully, you've learned something about travelling alone and perhaps, about me. If not, you probably haven't missed much.
Of course, that is simplifying it a little, as more often than not, you will feel lonely if you don’t have regular human interaction and this can become a major issue when on holiday. It can begin to affect your mental state which in turn can affect your enjoyment of the trip. I mean, think about it: it’s easy to go for days without talking to someone when you're travelling, other than to order a meal or to purchase entry and this, especially for the more sociable amongst you, can be a problem. For me, due to a variety of reasons, I spend a lot of my time on my own with limited social interaction and this has helped with travelling on my own (and it’s probably as tragic as it sounds - Ed) but it can still rear its ugly head.
In particular, I've found that night time is the worst time for loneliness as, more often than not, this is when you’d sit down and have dinner with your family/friends and socialise after university, school or work. When you’re travelling alone, you can’t do this as easily plus there isn't always as much to do in the evenings on your own. Of course, for the more sociable amongst you, this may never become a problem but for people like me, who are terrible at going and talking to strangers, this can become difficult. This is where the loneliness can sneak up on you: you're sitting at a restaurant or bar table and wham! You're suddenly longing for someone to argue with over the TV remote or are wanting to discuss how good your meal or beer is. Now, you may be wondering why I'm targeting the evening and night but from my experience, you're usually too busy during the day to worry about being on your own as you're away sightseeing and are busy dashing from one place to the next (if you're like me, that is).
However, this returns us back to the evening. Sitting at a restaurant and eating on your own is fine and should't be viewed with the social stigma that it has but, when you do it several times in a row, it can be a little draining, especially when you're in a slightly more upmarket restaurant where you can't bring out a book to read whilst you eat. This then results in you sitting and staring around the restaurant whilst waiting for your meal to come: awkwardness at its best. Then, when you finish your meal and pay up, what do you do? You still have a few hours until you need to sleep. How do you fill it? Unless you have an evening tour planned, then you're potentially doomed to repeat this: do you go to a club and potentially stand around like a statue in the hope that you get involved in the dancing or in a group; do you go to a bar and hope you get swallowed up by the crowd? You might think I'm painting a very bleak picture or you might think that I'm just being awkward in not socialising but for me, this is an issue. I find it difficult to just go and speak to someone new, unless I'm forced to and that is not going to change quickly so it can causes issues for myself and people in a similar issues.
Worry not though, my dear reader! There is a solution at hand and that is, the dreaded 'p' word: planning! Oho yes, it is back and with a vengeance! Let me elaborate before you come running at me with pitchforks and flaming torches as I'm a militant monsters when it comes planning. I am not suggesting you plan every hour of every evening. Hell, I'm not even suggesting you plan one evening, if you don't want to. What I'm suggesting is just planning for the fact you will be on your own and make a few preparations for it. Bring an extra book with you (or if you have a kindle, bring an extra 10,000 books with you). Check out possible night attractions so that you don't need to sit and spend your time on your own in the restaurant. If you write a blog, you can spend your time doing that over a beer. As an example, let's compare two different trips shall we, to see how this works.
Travelling back to my Tanzania trip, as mentioned earlier in the blog, I was on my own for around 10 days but I hadn't planned for being on my own. By the time the sightseeing part of the trip had started, I had read all my books and had no-one to talk to. For 10 or so evenings, I was lonely and fairly depressed. I had never experienced this as I didn't have much to do other than sit on my own somewhere and perhaps plan my next day. During the day, I was fine but as night fell, I became a mess as I was completely alone and bored. I eventually ran into a couple of people I knew for a night which was great but then when they left, it was back to solitary confinement for me. I ended up scouring Zanzibar island for English books, to allow me something new to read. It was horrible. Fast forwarding to Hong Kong (just call me the Doctor), I had planned for this. I knew I was going to be on my own and made sure that I had an extra book and that I knew of a few night activities that I could participate in. I also spent that time with a beer and writing my blog entries about Hong Kong. This significantly improved my evenings and stopped me from feeling lonely as I kept myself busy.
Obviously, this is just one example from my experiences but it shows that loneliness can occur on holiday and that it can be solved as well. However, should you find yourself lonely on holiday and can't find a way to shake it, just remember two things:
- You're only on holiday for a short time and that you'll be
with friends/family shortly, so enjoy yourself and try to not let
your loneliness affect you
- If it does become bad, the world is a small place: you can
find a phone, send an email or skype the people you miss without
much difficulty these days. Don't be afraid to do this if
necessary: it isn't you admitting weakness, it is you solving a
problem
Pick of the Week
Tomb Raider – Recently, I completed the latest installment to the Tomb Raider franchise and I have to admit that it was a fun game and an interesting introduction to Lara's beginning. The combat is pretty solid (I do love me a bow and arrow), the climbing and adventuring feels like old school Tomb Raider with a modern overhaul (i.e. with a set pieces etc but this isn't always bad) and the drama of the story certainly keeps you on edge. My only real complaint about the game is the injuries that are forced upon Lara. They make a big deal about her being injured via a cut scene but then, more often than not, completely ignore it in the game with her running and jumping like an Olympian. There is one exception where she can't climb but that lasts only until she finds some painkillers. Despite that, it's a great game and well worth playing if you're a fan of Lara.
Music of the Week
This week it's the turn of Otep – Ghostflowers. Now then, Otep is an angry young lady and rightfully so but it's a great song and she is one of my favourite female vocalists. Enjoy!
Well that's it from me and from my Travelling Alone series. Hopefully, you've learned something about travelling alone and perhaps, about me. If not, you probably haven't missed much.
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